Furihata was going to die a virgin, he was pretty sure. He was 17 years old, in the prime of his life-- well, sort of-- and he was still pretty sure that he was going to die a virgin, because everytime he tried to do anything closer than frenzied makeout sessions and maybe some over-the-clothes groping, something disasterous would happen. At this point, he'd started to resign himself: he'd die a virgin so that he didn't die halfway through intercourse.
"I think I'm cursed," he said to Kuroko, later, from where he had his head resting on the table. Looking up was too much effort when he knew for a fact Kuroko had slept with at least one person, and he wouldn't be surprised if it was more than one. Kuroko was surprising, so he just learned to anticipate things being surprising so he would be less surprised. It didn't always work.
"Did last night not go well?" Kuroko asked, turning his full attention from the menu board somewhere over Furihata's shoulder onto Furihata himself. It always felt a little like being under a microscope.
"I almost died," Furihata replied. He looked up again, a quiet sense of desperation permeating through his words. "Again."
"Ah," Kuroko responded. He probably would have said more, had Takao not shown up with a tray of fast food and a cheerful kiss for Kuroko. Furihata put his head back down.
"How did you almost die this time?" Takao's cheerful tone was entirely at-odds with the subject matter, Furihata thought. He could have some gravity for the situation. But, then, he was probably getting laid on the regular, so there wasn't anything for Takao to be upset about. He wasn't the one who was cursed to never sleep with his boyfriend.
"A bicycler almost rode over me on the way to the train station," Furihata said, "so I let him know that I wouldn't be able to go."
"It only almost hit you! You should have gone anyway," Takao replied, making absolutely zero effort to hide the laughter from his head. "Getting run over by a bicycler is a lot less perilous than that time you almost drowned."
"Don't remind me of that." Furihata still wasn't sure he'd be able to look at onsen the same way again for awhile. He was pretty sure he had a scar from hitting his head on the rocks so hard, too.
"You should go this weekend," Kuroko said, his attention largely on the vanilla shake in front of him. He glanced at Furihata only briefly before redirecting his attention back to the shake.
"I'm going to, I just... feel like maybe I should have a good luck charm, or a purification ritual, or -- or anything, really, to keep me from dying," Furihata said.
"At least if you die, it's just you," Takao offered, as though that was meant to be reassuring. It definitely wasn't.
A thought hit Furihata like the bicycler hadn't, and he recoiled from the table. "What if it isn't just me? What if it kills both of us? What if we both die before we ever even--"
"Don't worry," Kuroko said, picking up one of Takao's fries. "Akashi-kun has already had sex."