Today I feel so sad and sick. It feels like I cannot treat anybody the right way. I feel like being such a bad guy. And I cannot manage missing you so much You cannot understand this. I love you so much. But you are not here. I don’t show you how sad I am, because don’t want you to feel bad and be a strong man for you. But at the moment I am so weak and tired . Tired of my own. I hate myself so much sometimes. Sometimes I feel it’s not fair to not let you know about my feelings So now I told you... Sometimes I don’t want to be with myself This is why I sometimes don’t call you. I know you love me so much and I love you so much, but missing so much does not help each other