this passage of text from Mrs.B captures very precisely the contemporary dilemma surrounding assisted reproduction because often other family members know about the treatment a couple have received at the time of the procedure. yet they find they are drifting into an unwilling collusion with the parents as it becomes clear that the child is not told the circumstance of his/her birth. As I note above in the study of MacCallum and Golombok(2007) of 21 embryo donation mothers, 15 had told at least one family member about the method of conception. Mostly the family member entrusted with the knowledge was the maternal grandmother,in other words someone to whom the mother felt very close.Yet 14 of these 21 mothers were either not going to,or were undecided about,telling their child about their conception