Researchers have determined that the fighting between brothers and sisters is filled with physical and psychological aggression which traumatizes and leads to depression, anxiety and anger.
More than 3,500 children under the age of 17 were participants in the study entitled the “National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence”.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in conjunction with the Department of Justice (DoJ) Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP) commissioned the research that began the dialogue to blame parents for their child’s inability to cope with competition.
It was found that 32% of children surveyed reported aggressive behavior from a sibling which caused them anxiety and distress.
Corinna Jenkins Tucker, lead author of the study and professor of family studies at the University of New Hampshire explained that parents should take these claims by children seriously because they are indicative of a mental illness that affects children as peer bullying.
Tucker was involved in a new study entitled “Association of Sibling Aggression with Child and Adolescent Mental Health” where in the conclusions showed that there is a “possible importance of sibling aggression for children’s and adolescents’ mental health should not be dismissed. The mobilization to prevent and stop peer victimization and bullying should expand to encompass sibling aggression as well.”
Tucker believes that parents who ignore their children’s reaction to sibling rivalry or think that this is beneficial to their growth is “training” them to give in to bullying.
She said: “Historically, the general thinking has been that it’s not a big deal, and sometimes it’s even viewed as being a good thing. There appears to be different norms of acceptability. Peer aggression is unacceptable, but it’s not the same for siblings. The aggression among siblings should be taken just as seriously as that among peers.”
In terms of assessing dysfunction, Tucker views parents who overlook sibling conflict as showing their young that they will take sides which teaches the child that no one cares for them.
Tucker condemns parents who take away the object of desire when it is the focal point of conflict because it demonstrates “taking sides” and encourages “competition”.
John Caffaro, clinical psychologist claims that there is a “nationwide, sibling violence is by far the most common form of family violence, occurring four to five times as frequently as spousal or parental child abuse. According to some studies, nearly half of all children have been punched, kicked or bitten by a sibling, and roughly 15% have been repeatedly attacked. But even the most severe incidents are underreported because families are loath to acknowledge them, dismissing slaps and punches as horseplay and bullying as boys just being boys.”
Learning conflict resolution in the home is being compared with the development of mental illness later in life.
Researchers conclude that parents unwittingly encourage bullying within the rivalry of their children.
The old adage of letting them “settle their differences” is the most dangerous way to view the relationship between siblings, claims the study.
Research points toward the ideal that “sibling aggression is linked to worse mental health (for the victim), and in some cases it’s similar to what you find for peer aggression.”
Tucker maintains : “There is a natural emotional intensity to sibling relationships. There is a lot of love, but also the potential for a lot of conflicts.”
The victimization created by sibling rivalry is identified as multi-level with simple assault progressing to being physically harmed and psychologically damaged by another.