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well0:14the human voice0:15it's the instrument we all play it's the most powerful sound in the world0:19probably it's the only one that can start a war0:22or say I love you and yet many people have the experience that when they speak0:26people don't listen to them why is that how can we speak powerfully0:30to make change in the world but I'd like to suggest there are a number habits0:35that we need to move away from I i've0:37assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins are speaking0:41I'm not pretending this is an exhaustive list but0:44the 7i think are pretty large habits that we0:47can all fall into first gossip0:51speaking ill if somebody who's not present not a nice habit and we know0:55perfectly well the person gossiping0:57five minutes later will be gossiping about us1:00second judging we know people who1:04I like this in conversation and it's very hard to listen to somebody1:07if you know that you're being judged and found wanting1:10at the same time third negativity1:13you can fall into this my mother in the last years of her life became very very1:17negative it's hard to listen I remember one day I set her1:20its October the first today and she said i knows the dreadful1:24a it's hard to listen when somebody's that negative1:29and another former negativity complaining1:33well this is the National art love the UK1:37it's it's a national sport we complain about the weather about sport about1:40politics about everything
1:41but actually complaining is viral misery it's not spreading some China likeness
1:46in the world
1:47excuses we've all
1:50met this guy and maybe a we will be in this guy some people
1:53have a blame thrower they just pass it on to everybody else and don't take
1:58responsibility for their actions and again hard to listen to somebody is
2:01being like that
2:01penultimate the six of the seven embroidery
2:05exaggeration it demeans our language actually sometimes
2:10for example if I see something that really is awesome
2:13what I call it
2:17and then of course is exaggeration becomes lying out in outlying and we
2:21don't listen to people we know are lying to us
2:23and finally dogmatism the confusion of fact
2:29with opinions when those two things get completed
2:33you're listening to the wind you know somebody is bombarding you with their
2:36opinions as if they were true
2:37it's difficult to listen to that so here they are
2:417 deadly sins are speaking these things
2:44I think we need to avoid but is there a positive
2:47way to think about this yes there is I'd like to suggest that there are four
2:52really powerful
2:53cornerstones foundations that we can stand on
2:57if we want %uh speech to be powerful and to make change in the world
3:01fortunately these things spell a word what is hale
3:05and it has a great definition as well I'm not talking about the stuff that
3:08falls from the sky and hit you on the head
3:10I'm talk about this definition to greet or claim
3:14enthusiastically which is I think how well it will be received if we stand on
3:17these four things so what do they stand for
3:19see if you can guess the H
3:23honesty of course being true in what you say being straight unclear
3:28BA is authenticity just
3:31being yourself a friend of mine described it is standing in your own
3:34truth
3:35which i think is a lovely way to put it the eye is integrity
3:39big deal would actually doing what you say and being somebody people contrast
3:43and the L is love I don't mean romantic love
3:48but I do mean wishy people well for two reasons first of all I think
3:53absolute honesty may not be what we want to me my goodness you look ugly this
3:57morning
3:57mean perhaps that's not necessary
4:01tempered with love of course honesty is a great thing
4:05but also if you're really wishing somebody well
4:08it's very hard to judge them at the same time I'm not even sure you can do those
4:12two things
4:13simultaneously so hail also
4:17now that's what you say and it's like the old song it is what you say it's
4:20also
4:21the way that you say it you have an amazing tool boxes
4:24instrument is incredible and yet this is a tool box that very few people have
4:28ever
4:28open my capital rummage in there with you now just put a few tools out that
4:33you might like to take away and play with
4:34which would increase the power if you're speaking register
4:38for example now for sure to register may not be very useful
4:42most of the time but there's a register in between I'm not gonna get very
4:46technical about this review for boys coaches'
4:49you can locate your voice however so my talk up here and my nose you can hear
4:53the difference if I go down here my throat which is where
4:56most about speaks from most to the time but
4:59if you want wat you need to go down here to the chest
5:02he had a difference we vote for politicians
5:06with low voices true because we associate
5:10that with power and with authority
5:13thats register we have time but
5:17it's the the way your voice feels again the research shows that we prefer voices
5:21which are rich
5:22smooth warm like hot chocolate
5:25well that's not you that's not the end of the world
5:29because you can train go get a voice coach and they're amazing things you can
5:34do with breathing with posture
5:35with exercises to improve the timbre your voice
5:38then proceed the I love pro city this is the sinks on the matter language
5:43that we use in order to impart many its route one for meaning
5:47in conversation people who speak one-on-one notes are really quite hard
5:51to listen to
5:52if they don't have any president at all that's where the word
5:56monotonic comes from a monotonous mono 10
5:59also we have repetitive president now coming in
6:03where every sentence ends is everywhere question when it's actually not a
6:07question it's a statement
6:11and if you repeat that went over and over it actually restrict your ability
6:14to communicate through president which i think is shaking
6:17so let's try and break that habit pace
6:21I can get very very excited by saying something really quickly all
6:25I can slow right down and precise
6:28at the end of that of course is our old friend silence
6:31it's nothing wrong with a bit of silence
6:36gonna talk is there we don't have to Phillip Adams
6:40an arse can be very powerful because pitch
6:44often goes along with pace to indicate a row so what you can do it just with
6:47pitch
6:48what did you take my keys where did you leave my keys
6:51to slightly different meaning in those two deliveries
6:55and finally body im I can get really excited
7:00by using body I'm sorry about that spiced up with anybody
7:03all I can have you created pay attention make
7:07some people broadcast the whole time try not to do that
7:11that's called South casting
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