Task 2 IELTS Sample Writing: Childr

Task 2 IELTS Sample Writing:
Children and TV

by Katiss
(USA)



Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is generally accepted that spending too much time in front if the TV harms childrens’ development. Therefore, in my opinion, parents should by all means limit their childrens’ TV and computer screen time, especially while they are younger.

Watching TV or using a computer can be addictive, even for adults. Parents must prevent their children from developing bad habits, like spending a lot of their time in front of the TV, early on. Not only should parents strictly limit their childrens' screen time, they also need to be role models. Certainly, younger children will need more guidance, while teenagers can be given more responsibility in how they spend their time.

Moreover, watching TV is a passive way to spend time with no social interaction. While this point is not so much about computers, physical exercise and playing with other children are essential activities for a healthy development. Spending a lot of time in front of computer or TV screens limit’s a child time for such activities.

Especially younger children can not concentrate for an extended time span without breaks. Watching TV or playing computer games for many hours can hurt their ability to concentrate on their homework or a book later on. So even if the content watched is age adequate and educational watching it for too long can be harmful for a child.

All things consideres, there are many reasons why parents are well advised to monitor their childrens’ use of TV and computers closely. Especially younger children should be guided to spend their time in active and healthy ways.

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IELTS buddy
Feedback

Corrected Version:

It is generally accepted that spending too much time in front of the TV harms childrens’ development. Therefore,in my opinion, parents should by all means limit their hildrens’


TV and computer screen time, especially while they are younger.

Watching TV or using a computer can be addictive, even for adults. Parents must prevent their children from developing bad habits, like spending a lot of their time in front of the TV, early on. Not only should parents strictly limit their childrens' screen time, they also need to be role models. Certainly, younger children will need more guidance, while teenagers can be given more responsibility in how they spend their time.

Be careful - in this paragraph you are not giving enoughspcific reasons WHY they should limit their viewing. Instead you are giving solutions as you mention that parents 'must prevent this bad habit early on' and they should be 'role models because children need more guidance'. These are not actually answering the question.

Moreover, watching TV is a passive way to spend time with no social interaction. While this point is not so much about computers, physical exercise and playing with other children are essential activities for healthy development. Spending a lot of time in front of computer or TV screens limit’s a child time for such activities.

Especially In particular, younger children can not concentrate for an extended time span without breaks. Watching TV or playing computer games for many hours can hurt their ability to concentrate on their homework or a book later on. So even if the content watched is age adequate and educational, watching it for too long can be harmful for a child.

All things considered, there are many reasons why parents are well advised to monitor their childrens’ use of TV and computers closely, especially younger children who need to be guided to spend their time in active and healthy ways.

==================================================

FURTHER COMMENTS


Your grammar and vocabulary are fine, as is your organization.

Just be careful to make sure you are answering the question as your first paragraph does not appear to do this.

Especially = this is used to begin a phrase after a comma, not in the way you are using it.

Thanks
Comments for Task 2 IELTS Sample Writing:
Children and TV
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Click here to add your own comments

Jan 08, 2013
children and TV
by: ha

this is a great change for learner
Sep 11, 2013
Computer and TV Exposure by Children
by: Niner X

New generation of youngsters, especially children under school and pubertal age groups are television and computer addicts, evidenced by long hours of time being with those modern technologies. Indeed, this social trend is alarming since it could affect their social, mental, and physiologic functions. Along with this, I strongly believe that parents should impose specific discipline appertaining to the length of time their children utilize

Results (Vietnamese) 1:

Task 2 IELTS mẫu văn bản: Trẻ em và truyền hìnhbởi Katiss (HOA KỲ) Nhiều trẻ em hiện đại dành rất nhiều thời gian ngồi trước màn hình tivi hoặc máy tính. Điều này là cực kỳ có hại cho sự phát triển của họ. Vì vậy, cha mẹ nên nghiêm giới hạn thời gian trẻ em chi tiêu theo cách này. Đến mức độ nào bạn đồng ý hoặc không đồng ý?Nó nói chung là chấp nhận rằng chi tiêu quá nhiều thời gian ở phía trước nếu TV hại phát triển trẻ em. Vì vậy, theo ý kiến của tôi, cha mẹ nên bằng mọi phương tiện hạn chế trẻ em của TV và máy tính màn hình thời gian, đặc biệt là trong khi họ là trẻ hơn.Xem truyền hình hoặc bằng cách sử dụng một máy tính có thể gây nghiện, ngay cả đối với người lớn. Phụ huynh phải ngăn không cho con cái của họ phát triển thói quen xấu, giống như chi tiêu nhiều thời gian của họ ở phía trước của TV, đầu vào. Không chỉ nên cha mẹ nghiêm hạn chế trẻ em của màn hình thời gian, họ cũng cần phải là mô hình vai trò. Chắc chắn, trẻ em sẽ cần hướng dẫn thêm, trong khi thanh thiếu niên có thể được trao trách nhiệm nhiều hơn trong cách họ dành nhiều thời gian của họ.Hơn nữa, xem truyền hình là một cách thụ động để dành thời gian với không có tương tác xã hội. Trong khi thời điểm này là không quá nhiều về máy vi tính, tập thể dục và chơi với những đứa trẻ khác là các hoạt động cần thiết cho một sự phát triển lành mạnh. Chi tiêu rất nhiều thời gian ở phía trước của máy tính hoặc TV màn hình giới hạn của một thời gian trẻ em cho các hoạt động như vậy.Especially younger children can not concentrate for an extended time span without breaks. Watching TV or playing computer games for many hours can hurt their ability to concentrate on their homework or a book later on. So even if the content watched is age adequate and educational watching it for too long can be harmful for a child.All things consideres, there are many reasons why parents are well advised to monitor their childrens’ use of TV and computers closely. Especially younger children should be guided to spend their time in active and healthy ways. ==================================================IELTS buddy FeedbackCorrected Version:It is generally accepted that spending too much time in front of the TV harms childrens’ development. Therefore,in my opinion, parents should by all means limit their hildrens’ TV and computer screen time, especially while they are younger.Watching TV or using a computer can be addictive, even for adults. Parents must prevent their children from developing bad habits, like spending a lot of their time in front of the TV, early on. Not only should parents strictly limit their childrens' screen time, they also need to be role models. Certainly, younger children will need more guidance, while teenagers can be given more responsibility in how they spend their time.Be careful - in this paragraph you are not giving enoughspcific reasons WHY they should limit their viewing. Instead you are giving solutions as you mention that parents 'must prevent this bad habit early on' and they should be 'role models because children need more guidance'. These are not actually answering the question.Moreover, watching TV is a passive way to spend time with no social interaction. While this point is not so much about computers, physical exercise and playing with other children are essential activities for healthy development. Spending a lot of time in front of computer or TV screens limit’s a child time for such activities.Especially In particular, younger children can not concentrate for an extended time span without breaks. Watching TV or playing computer games for many hours can hurt their ability to concentrate on their homework or a book later on. So even if the content watched is age adequate and educational, watching it for too long can be harmful for a child.All things considered, there are many reasons why parents are well advised to monitor their childrens’ use of TV and computers closely, especially younger children who need to be guided to spend their time in active and healthy ways. ==================================================FURTHER COMMENTSYour grammar and vocabulary are fine, as is your organization.Just be careful to make sure you are answering the question as your first paragraph does not appear to do this.
Especially = this is used to begin a phrase after a comma, not in the way you are using it.

Thanks
Comments for Task 2 IELTS Sample Writing:
Children and TV
Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 08, 2013
children and TV
by: ha

this is a great change for learner
Sep 11, 2013
Computer and TV Exposure by Children
by: Niner X

New generation of youngsters, especially children under school and pubertal age groups are television and computer addicts, evidenced by long hours of time being with those modern technologies. Indeed, this social trend is alarming since it could affect their social, mental, and physiologic functions. Along with this, I strongly believe that parents should impose specific discipline appertaining to the length of time their children utilize