Once upon a time, far far away, there was a princess held captive in the tallest tower of a castle. You're the knight and you're gonna do your job because if you don't you're a pussy. I'm the guard and you need to convince me if you want to pass. I know you can't do it, pussy! To achieve your journey you will need some advice so here they are.
Rules:
Number 1, don't speak to me if you want to learn french.
Number 2, don't speak to me if you are boring.
Number 3, don't be susceptible.
Number 4, you aren't my mother so don't tell me what to do, don't ever do it.
Number 5, don't be weak.
Number 6, don't be yourself.
Number 7, think or sink.
[...]
Number 99, yeah there is a lot of rules and I'm not kind enough to write them all over here, just think twice before opening your filthy mouth and that will probably be ok, I said probably, don't be ashamed of yourself if I reject you.
Rules mean sanctions and I know how much you love it when I punish you whore, but that doesn't mean you will be pleased that way (not the milky one). And f*ck you just because.