How To Be A Good Husband In Islam ?
31 أغسطس، 2013، الساعة 01:51 صباحاً
أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
I Seek Refuge With (الله)God From The Stoned Shaitan (Satan)
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In The Name Of (الله)God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
How To Be A Good Husband In Islam
We begin with Allah's Blessed name; we praise Him and we glorify Him as He aught to be glorified and we pray for peace and blessings on all His noble messengers and in particular the last of them all, the blessed Prophet Muhammad (Sali Allah tala alahi walahi wasahbi wasalam).
Many of unmarried women feel obligated to be good, partly due to the desire to get a good and pious husband also, based on the core clause contained in the
Surat An-Nūr (The Light) - سورة النور
Chapter No: 24
Verse No: 26
الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ ۖ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ ۚ أُولَٰئِكَ مُبَرَّءُونَ مِمَّا يَقُولُونَ ۖ لَهُم مَّغْفِرَةٌ وَرِزْقٌ كَرِيمٌ
Bad statements are for bad people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women), such (good people) are innocent of (each and every) bad statement which they say, for them is Forgiveness, and Rizqun Karim (generous provision i.e.Paradise).
Always Emulate The Behavior Of The Prophet Muhammad (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) With His Wives:
Allah says in the Qur'an:
Surat Al-'Aĥzāb (The Combined Forces) - سورة الأحزاب
Chapter No: 33
Verse No: 21
لَّقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا
"You have indeed in the Messenger of Allah, a beautiful example (of conduct) for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Final Day, and who remembers Allah much."
The Prophet Muhammad (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) overlooked his wives' shortcomings, and tolerated their unreasonable behavior. The books of ahadith are replete with examples of how he ignored what he did not like about their actions, with a smile and patient silence. Once, when he became very angry with all of them, he left their company and resolved not to talk to them for a month.
Instead of shouting or verbally reprimanding your wife for every mistake, just ignore her. If she is fighting with you or being unreasonable, you can always leave the room and not answer back, which is the best strategy. When you will ignore her for some time, she will willingly relinquish the behavior which angered you.
Narrated Abu Hurairah (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه), Allah's Messenger (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) said:"Woman was created from a bent rib. If you want to enjoy her, you enjoy her while she is still bent. If you will try to straighten her, you will break her."
[Sahih Al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim]
How to be a good husband in Islam is something that every Muslim man should learn before entering into a wedlock. For a long time now, I have been wondering why so much has been written about a woman being an “Ideal wife in Islam” as against writing about a man being an “Ideal Husband in Islam”. Allah says “
Surat Al-Baqarah (The Cow) - سورة البقرة
Chapter No: 31
Verse No: 228
وَالْمُطَلَّقَاتُ يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَاثَةَ قُرُوءٍ ۚ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللَّهُ فِي أَرْحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ ۚ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُوا إِصْلَاحًا ۚ وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ ۗ وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ
And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise.
Aren’t men included in this command? If there are things that wife needs to do for husband, then there are things that husband also has to do for wife. The rulings on rights of Husband and wife on each other are very clear in Islam, which is not found in any other religion or its scriptures.
Although awareness is needed to educate women regarding their duties to their husband, it is equally important to stress the need to educate the men regarding their duties to their wives. Why has it always been that only women are instructed to sacrifice, to dedicate, to be patient etc when it comes to their husband? Why aren’t husbands instructed in the same way??
The Husband expects every good from his wife, but when it is his turn to reciprocate, he ignores it. This is a common scenario world wide, irrespective of which community one belongs to. It is very important to reiterate this aspect of Islam so that husband-wife relation becomes more stronger and pure.
Woman was made from the rib of the man (as Qur’an confirms), She was’nt created from his head to top him, Nor from his feet to be stepped upon, She was made from his side to be close to him, From beneath his arm to be protected by him, Near his heart to be loved by him.
Once the prophet (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) was sitting in a room with Aisha (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها) and fixing his shoes. It was very warm, and Aisha (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰعنها) looked to his blessed forehead and noticed that there were beads of sweat on it. She became overwhelmed by the majesty of that sight was staring at him long enough for him to notice. He said, “What’s the matter?” She replied, “If Abu Bukair Al-Huthali (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه), the poet, saw you, he would know that his poem was written for you.” The Prophet (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) asked, “What did he say?” She replied, “Abu Bukair (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه) said that if you looked to the majesty of the moon, it twinkles and lights up the world for everybody to see.” So the Prophet (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) got up, walked to Aisha, kissed her between the eyes, and said, “Wallahi ya Aisha, you are like that to me and more.”
[Narrated in Dala'el Al-Nubuwa for Imam Abu Nu'aim with isnad including Imam Bukhari and Imam Ibn Khuzaina.]
Such was the lovely relation between Prophet and his wives. There are many narrations in the books of hadiths which speak about how Prophet (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) used to treat his wives, that is, with great respect and love. He was very caring and always tried to keep them happy. He understood the nature of a woman well and hence dealth with them accordingly.
The Following Are Some Of The Quotes From Sahih Hadith Regarding Treatment Of Women:
Jabir (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه) narrates that Rasoolallah (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) also gave these instructions in his sermon during the Farewell Pilgrimage. “Fear Allah regarding women; for you have taken them (in marriage) with the trust of Allah”.
(Mishkat)
The Holy Prophet (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) has said during the farewell sermon: “O people, your wives have a certain right over you and you have certain rights over them. Treat them well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers”.
(Tirmidhi)
Abu Huraira (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه) reported Allah’s messenger (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) as saying, “The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best of you are those who are best to their wives “
(Tirmidhi)
Abu-Darda (رضي الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ عنه) narrated that the Prophet (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) instructed him: “Spend as much as possible upon your family. . . “
The Prophet (سيدنا محمد ﺻﻠﯽ الله ﺗﻌﺎﻟﯽٰ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺍٓﻟﮧ وصحبه ﻭﺳﻠﻢ) has said: “Helping wives (in their domestic work) earns (men) the rewar