When Lisa had first arrived at the

When Lisa had first arrived at the shopping centre, fifteen minutes early, her worst fear had been that he was going to stand her up. She knew that it would hurt if this happened, it would make her feel ridiculous... and pathetic.... and.... cheap, she had thought. Like the kind of girl who has to throw herself at a man, who has to use classified advertisements, who doesn't get asked out. But of course that was the kind of girl she was, wasn't it?
The reason that she had chosen somewhere so public and so ordinary, a wooden bench by a fountain in the foyer of a City Centre shopping arcade, was in case this might happen. If she had had to sit by herself in a restaurant or a bar, and he hadn't turned up, all those eyes would have been watching her, judging her. But here - why here she could sit as long as she wished, or simply stand up and walk away. Nobody would pay the slightest attention. She could be waiting for a girl friend, or just resting her feet. She felt almost.... invisible.
Now that she had been there for a while, and the actual agreed time for the meeting was drawing near, she began to worry that he would show up. She was by no means at ease with herself about what she was doing. Rationally she knew that it was a very sensible and honest thing to do: to take control of her own life and go out and find somebody, to simply say what she wanted and see if anybody was willing to offer it. But in her heart of hearts she felt a kind of shame. She was beginning to wish that the whole thing was over and done with. and she was on her way home to her own little room and her own comfortable, single bed.
An even more appalling thought had occurred to her. What if he came to have a sneak preview before committing himself? What if he was one of these men standing around, reading their newspapers, searching for their credit-cards, rearranging the shopping in their carrier-bags, waiting for wives and girlfriends to return from the shops or the toilets or who-knows-where....? He could easily pretend to be passing the bench and take a little peek. Then if he didn't like what he saw he could walk on... she would never know. It was horrible. Maybe at this very moment she was on display, like a cow at a cattle-market, being assessed, weighed-up, considered as a worthwhile prospect... very likely being rejected.
She looked at her watch. Two minutes to go. No, more like one-and-a-half. She wondered if the device was really as accurate as that. Probably not. The moment might have come and gone already, or it might be three or even five minutes into the future....
She stopped herself. This wouldn't do. She was becoming paranoid. She must calm down and try to relax, try to approach the situation like an adult. It was only a first meeting with someone who had sounded perfectly all right on the phone. She hadn't been nervous then. He had been easy to talk to. What was she worried about? She was being silly. She made a deliberate effort to make her breathing slower and deeper, and to stop fidgeting with her handbag. That's better, she told herself. That's much better.
"Lisa?" The voice came from behind her, almost next to her ear, and it made her start. "Lisa Cooper?"
It was a kindly voice, and when she looked around it was a kindly face that met her gaze.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sneaked-up behind you like that."
"No, not at all, it was silly of me... my mind was miles away..."
As she spoke he made his way around to the front of the bench and smiled down at her. She realised that her heart was racing slightly now. He was a lot better looking than she had imagined him! Taller, thinner, younger, better dressed... better in every imaginable way! Now she began to worry that he wouldn't like her... Stop it, she commanded herself. This is ridiculous.
"Sam Levin" he introduced himself, although of course she already knew his name, "May I join you?"
"Oh yes! Of course. Please do."
Now I'm sounding too keen, she said to herself. Oh, why can't I just relax and be natural?
For a brief moment, neither of them spoke. They were looking at each other eagerly, with barely concealed fascination, but trying to do it tastefully, without seeming to stare.
"Am I... as you expected?" he asked with a broad smile.
She was flustered by the question. If she told the truth it would sound too forward... "Yes," she replied hesitantly, "pretty much. What about me?"
"Better in every way. Younger, more attractive, more vivacious... a bit daunting, to be honest. You're better than I deserve."
She laughed. "Oh, please! We've only just met... you're embarrassing me!"
"Sorry. I take it back. You're fat and ugly."
She laughed again. He was charming. So charming. And so natural! Why couldn't she be natural like that? "I... I've never done this before, you know," she said hesitantly, then instantly regretted having said it. It sounded such a cliché, and he probably wouldn't believe her anyway, and besides - what did it matter to anybody whether or not she had done it before? It only mattered if she was ashamed.
"I have," he replied, breaking her train of thought, "but nothing ever came of it. They really were fat and ugly. No, that's unkind. They just weren't for me. I told them so. I was quite open about it. I mean, the chemistry is either there or it isn't, don't you think?
"So... you can decide as quickly as that? After one meeting?"
He considered the question. "I think I come to decisions quite quickly about most things. Whether or not they are always good decisions is another matter."
She paused. "And... you've already decided about me, have you?"
"I've decided that you're beautiful, charming, desirable... but of course as you say I don't really know you yet. You might be a mass-murderer or a raging Neo-Nazi. But I would be willing to compromise on things like that." She laughed a little too loudly, then the embarrassment flooded back.
"Why don't we go somewhere and eat?" he suggested with a smile that would have made her knees buckle if she had been standing up, "Somewhere quiet, where we can talk?"
He offered a hand like a knight in a fairy-tale, and she stood up and accompanied him out towards the car-park while he held her elbow, like Prince Charming leading Cinderella on to the dance floor.
oo O oo
Lisa arrived home a little earlier than she would have predicted, poured a glass of plain water at the wash-hand-basin and sat on the edge of her bed to drink it. Her head was swimming with a strange and unfamiliar mixture of emotions. She would not have been able to put names to all of them if she had tried, but among them were elation, excitement, anxiety, and a deep, painful vein of sadness and self-pity.
She sat for some minutes, quite motionless, then she noticed that her bedside telephone answering machine had a little flashing red light, indicating that someone had phoned and left a message while she had been out. She played the tape.
"Hello, Lisa? It's Yvonne. Look, sweetheart, I don't care how late you get in, I want you to phone me straight away and tell me how you got on with that man! Even if it's tomorrow morning!" She giggled suggestively. "I mean it. Don't let me down now! Bye."
Automatically, she lifted the phone and touched the "memory" button to dial Yvonne.
"Hello, Yvonne... Yes, I know, it is quite early. Well, no, nothing happened. It was.... quite incredible, really. He was tall, and very handsome... and he had lovely teeth... and I really liked him. Yes. He was a perfect gentleman... Yes, I know it sounds great.... It's just that...." she found herself choking with tears, "it wasn't real, Yvonne. Do you know what I mean? I mean, he was just being nice to me. He was sorry for me. I could sense it. He's way out of my class, Yvonne. Honestly. Like a film star. I've never spoken to anybody as.... as perfect as that. He tried to make me feel okay, but it was all silly nonsense. He almost told me he loved me as soon as we met! It was over the top, Yvonne. It was just embarrassing. I don't know why I let him go on with it. Why I didn't just go home.... I suppose I was flattered. I suppose I wanted to believe it. But it was no good. I couldn't. No, I just said: You've got my number, give me a call. But I know he won't. Oh, Yvonne, I feel so stupid !" Finally she could hold back the tears no longer.
oo O oo
Sam didn't go straight home. He parked his car in the usual place outside his house, then went for a long walk across the flat stretch of parkland that bounded his back garden. He sat on a bench by the side of the lake and watched the play of the moonlight and the distant streetlights on the water's surface.
He felt deflated. To have come so close, and to have failed. Why didn't she like him at least a little when he was so bowled-over by her? The only girl since Trudy who had actually made his heart leap when he laid eyes on her, who had brought the sweat to the palms of his hands, who had left him tongue-tied. That must have been it. She must have thought him a total fool, babbling with all that nonsense about how wonderful she was when they'd only just met. It was a ridiculous way to behave. She must have been laughing at him inside. She must have felt something close to contempt. Somebody as beautiful as that already knows she's beautiful. She doesn't need a half-witted totally ordinary person like himself to go on and on about it. It must have been such a let-down for her when she saw what he really looked like. She was so careful to hide it too, to protect his feelings. She must be such a lovely person, to humour him like that.
He took the little piece of paper containing her phone number out of his pocket and looked down at it, held it against his chest for a moment like a talisman, cupped it between his two hands.
He was going to have to be a little bit more realistic, he told himself. Lower his sights a little. Stop dreaming impossible dreams.
"Ugly ducklings shouldn't go bothering swans," he

Results (Indonesian) 2:

Ketika Lisa pertama kali tiba di pusat perbelanjaan, lima belas menit awal, ketakutan terburuk dia telah bahwa ia akan berdiri tubuhnya. Dia tahu bahwa itu akan menyakitkan jika hal ini terjadi, itu akan membuatnya merasa konyol ... dan menyedihkan .... dan .... murah, dia berpikir. Seperti jenis gadis yang memiliki melemparkan dirinya pada manusia, yang harus menggunakan iklan baris, yang tidak mendapatkan diminta keluar. Tapi tentu saja itu adalah jenis gadis dia, bukan?
Alasan bahwa dia telah memilih suatu tempat yang begitu umum dan biasa, bangku kayu dengan air mancur di lobi dari pusat perbelanjaan City Centre, dalam hal ini mungkin terjadi. Jika dia harus duduk sendirian di sebuah restoran atau bar, dan ia tidak muncul, semua mata mereka akan telah mengamatinya, menilai dirinya. Tapi di sini - mengapa di sini dia bisa duduk selama dia berharap, atau hanya berdiri dan berjalan pergi. Tidak ada yang akan membayar perhatian sedikit pun. Dia bisa menunggu seorang gadis teman, atau hanya beristirahat kakinya. Dia merasa hampir .... tak terlihat.
Sekarang dia sudah ada untuk sementara waktu, dan waktu yang telah disepakati sebenarnya untuk pertemuan itu semakin dekat, ia mulai khawatir bahwa ia akan muncul. Dia tidak berarti nyaman dengan dirinya sendiri tentang apa yang dia lakukan. Rasional ia tahu bahwa itu adalah hal yang sangat masuk akal dan jujur ​​untuk melakukan: untuk mengendalikan hidupnya sendiri dan pergi keluar dan menemukan seseorang, hanya mengatakan apa yang dia inginkan dan melihat apakah ada yang bersedia untuk menawarkan itu. Tapi di lubuk hatinya dia merasakan semacam rasa malu. Dia mulai berharap bahwa semuanya sudah berakhir dan dilakukan dengan. dan dia sedang dalam perjalanan pulang ke kamar kecil sendiri dan sendiri nyaman, tempat tidur tunggal.
Sebuah pikiran yang lebih mengerikan telah terjadi padanya. Bagaimana jika ia datang untuk memiliki sneak preview sebelum melakukan sendiri? Bagaimana jika dia adalah salah satu dari orang-orang ini berdiri di sekitar, membaca koran mereka, mencari kredit-kartu mereka, menata ulang belanja di mereka carrier-tas, menunggu istri dan pacar untuk kembali dari toko-toko atau toilet atau yang-yang tahu-mana ....? Dia bisa dengan mudah berpura-pura akan melewati bangku dan mengambil mengintip sedikit. Kemudian jika ia tidak menyukai apa yang dilihatnya ia bisa berjalan di atas ... dia tidak akan pernah tahu. Itu mengerikan. Mungkin pada saat ini dia dipamerkan, seperti sapi pada sapi-pasar, menjadi dinilai, ditimbang-up, dianggap sebagai prospek berharga ... sangat mungkin ditolak.
Dia melihat jam tangannya. Dua menit untuk pergi. Tidak, lebih seperti satu-dan-a-setengah. Dia bertanya-tanya apakah perangkat itu benar-benar seakurat itu. Mungkin tidak. Saat ini mungkin telah datang dan pergi sudah, atau mungkin tiga atau bahkan lima menit ke depan ....
Dia berhenti sendiri. Ini tidak akan melakukan. Dia menjadi paranoid. Dia harus tenang dan mencoba untuk bersantai, mencoba untuk mendekati situasi seperti orang dewasa. Itu hanya pertemuan pertama dengan seseorang yang terdengar sempurna-baik di telepon. Dia tidak pernah gugup saat itu. Dia telah mudah untuk berbicara dengan. Apa yang dia khawatir tentang? Dia bersikap konyol. Dia membuat upaya yang disengaja untuk membuatnya bernapas lebih lambat dan lebih dalam, dan berhenti gelisah dengan tas tangannya. Itu lebih baik, katanya dalam hati. Itu jauh lebih baik.
"Lisa?" Suara itu datang dari belakangnya, hampir di sebelah telinganya, dan itu membuat dia mulai. "Lisa Cooper?"
Itu adalah suara hati, dan ketika dia melihat sekeliling itu wajah ramah yang bertemu tatapannya.
"Aku minta maaf. Aku tidak harus menyelinap-up di belakang Anda seperti itu."
"Tidak, tidak sama sekali, itu konyol dari saya ... pikiran saya adalah mil jauhnya ... "Saat ia berbicara ia berjalan memutar ke depan bangku dan tersenyum padanya.
Dia menyadari bahwa hatinya balap sedikit sekarang. Dia banyak lebih tampan dari yang ia bayangkan dia! Taller, lebih tipis, lebih muda, lebih baik berpakaian ... lebih baik dalam segala hal yang dibayangkan! Sekarang dia mulai khawatir bahwa ia tidak akan menyukainya ... Hentikan, dia memerintahkan dirinya. Ini konyol.
"Sam Levin" dia memperkenalkan dirinya, walaupun tentu saja dia sudah tahu namanya, "Semoga saya bergabung dengan Anda?"
"Oh ya! Tentu saja. Silakan lakukan."
Sekarang aku terdengar terlalu tertarik, dia berkata dirinya. Oh, mengapa aku tidak bisa hanya bersantai dan alami?
Untuk sesaat, tak satu pun dari mereka berbicara. Mereka saling memandang dengan penuh semangat, dengan daya tarik nyaris tersembunyi, tetapi berusaha untuk melakukannya selera, tanpa terlihat menatap.
"Apakah aku ... seperti yang Anda harapkan?" tanyanya dengan senyum lebar.
Dia bingung dengan pertanyaan itu. Jika dia mengatakan kebenaran itu akan terdengar terlalu maju ... "Ya," jawabnya ragu-ragu, "cukup banyak. Bagaimana saya?"
"Lebih baik dalam segala hal. Muda, lebih menarik, lebih lincah ... sedikit menakutkan, jujur. Kau lebih baik dari saya pantas.
"Dia tertawa. "Oh, please! Kami baru saja bertemu ... kau memalukan aku!"
"Maaf. Aku mengambil kembali. Kau gemuk dan jelek."
Dia tertawa lagi. Dia adalah menarik. Sangat menawan. Dan begitu alami! Kenapa dia tidak bisa alami seperti itu? "Aku ... aku belum pernah melakukan hal ini sebelumnya, Anda tahu," katanya ragu-ragu, kemudian langsung menyesal telah mengatakan itu. Kedengarannya klise seperti itu, dan ia mungkin tidak akan percaya padanya pula, dan selain itu - apa bedanya kepada siapa saja apakah dia telah melakukan hal ini sebelumnya? Hanya penting jika dia merasa malu.
"Aku punya," jawabnya, melanggar kereta nya pemikiran, "tapi tidak pernah datang dari itu. Mereka benar-benar gemuk dan jelek. Tidak, itu tidak baik. Mereka hanya tidak untuk saya. Saya mengatakan kepada mereka sehingga. Saya cukup terbuka tentang hal itu. Maksudku, kimia adalah baik ada atau tidak, jangan Anda berpikir?
"Jadi ... Anda dapat memutuskan secepat itu? Setelah satu pertemuan?
"Ia menilai pertanyaan itu." Saya pikir saya datang ke keputusan dengan cepat tentang banyak hal. Apakah atau tidak mereka selalu keputusan yang baik adalah masalah lain.
"Dia berhenti." Dan ... Anda sudah memutuskan tentang aku, kan?
"" Aku sudah memutuskan bahwa kau cantik, menawan, diinginkan ... tapi tentu saja seperti yang Anda katakan saya tidak benar-benar tahu Anda belum. Anda mungkin massa-pembunuh atau mengamuk Neo-Nazi. Tapi aku akan bersedia untuk berkompromi pada hal-hal seperti itu. "Dia tertawa sedikit terlalu keras, maka malu banjir
kembali." Mengapa kita tidak pergi ke suatu tempat dan makan? "Ia menyarankan dengan senyum yang akan membuat lututnya goyah jika dia telah berdiri, "Somewhere tenang, di mana kita bisa bicara?"
Dia menawarkan tangan seperti seorang ksatria dalam dongeng, dan dia berdiri dan menemaninya keluar menuju parkir mobil sementara ia memegang sikunya, seperti Prince Charming terkemuka Cinderella yang ke lantai dansa.
oo O oo
Lisa tiba di rumah sedikit lebih awal dari dia akan memperkirakan, menuangkan segelas air putih di cuci-tangan-cekungan dan duduk di tepi tempat tidurnya untuk meminumnya. Kepalanya berenang dengan campuran aneh dan asing emosi. Dia tidak akan mampu menempatkan nama mereka semua jika dia telah mencoba, tetapi di antara mereka adalah kegembiraan, kegembiraan, kecemasan, dan dalam, vena menyakitkan kesedihan dan mengasihani diri sendiri.
Dia duduk selama beberapa menit, cukup bergerak, kemudian ia melihat bahwa mesin penjawab telepon di samping tempat tidurnya memiliki cahaya merah kecil berkedip, menunjukkan bahwa seseorang telah menelepon dan meninggalkan pesan sementara dia telah keluar. Dia memainkan rekaman itu.
"Halo, Lisa? Ini Yvonne. Lihatlah, Sayang, aku tidak peduli bagaimana akhir Anda masuk, saya ingin Anda untuk telepon saya langsung dan memberitahu saya bagaimana Anda naik dengan orang itu! Bahkan jika itu besok pagi!" Dia terkikik arti. "Aku serius. Jangan biarkan saya turun sekarang! Bye."
Secara otomatis, dia mengangkat telepon dan menyentuh "memori" tombol untuk memanggil Yvonne.
"Halo, Yvonne ... Ya, aku tahu, itu cukup awal. Nah, tidak ada, tidak ada yang terjadi. Itu .... cukup luar biasa, benar-benar. Dia tinggi, dan sangat tampan ... dan dia memiliki gigi yang indah ... dan aku benar-benar menyukainya. Ya. Dia adalah seorang pria yang sempurna. .. Ya, saya tahu kedengarannya bagus .... Hanya saja .... "ia mendapati dirinya tersedak dengan air mata," itu tidak nyata, Yvonne. Apakah Anda tahu apa yang saya maksud? Maksudku, dia hanya bersikap baik kepada saya. Dia kasihan saya. Saya bisa merasakan itu. Dia jalan keluar dari kelas saya, Yvonne. Jujur. Seperti bintang film. Saya tidak pernah berbicara dengan siapa pun sebagai .... sesempurna itu. Dia mencoba untuk membuat saya merasa baik-baik saja, tapi itu semua omong kosong konyol. Dia hampir bilang dia mencintai saya segera setelah kami bertemu! Itu di atas, Yvonne. Itu hanya memalukan. Saya tidak tahu mengapa saya membiarkan dia pergi dengan itu. Mengapa saya tidak pulang saja .... Saya kira saya merasa tersanjung. Saya kira saya ingin percaya. Tapi itu tidak baik. Aku tidak bisa. Tidak, aku hanya berkata: Anda punya nomor saya, menelepon saya. Tapi aku tahu dia tidak akan. Oh, Yvonne, aku merasa begitu bodoh! "Akhirnya dia bisa menahan air mata tidak lagi.
Oo oo O
Sam tidak langsung pulang. Dia memarkir mobilnya di tempat biasa di luar rumahnya, kemudian pergi untuk berjalan-jalan di bentangan datar taman yang dibatasi taman punggungnya Dia duduk. di bangku di pinggir danau dan menyaksikan permainan cahaya bulan dan lampu jalan yang jauh di permukaan air.
Dia merasa mengempis. Untuk datang begitu dekat, dan untuk telah gagal. Mengapa tidak dia suka dia setidaknya sedikit ketika ia begitu terpesona-alih oleh nya? Satu-satunya gadis sejak Trudy yang benar-benar telah membuat lompatan hatinya ketika ia meletakkan mata pada dirinya, yang telah membawa keringat ke telapak tangannya, yang telah meninggalkan dia lidah kelu. Yang pasti itu. Dia pasti mengira dia bodoh total, mengoceh dengan semua omong kosong itu tentang betapa indahnya dia ketika mereka hanya baru saja bertemu. Itu konyol cara untuk berperilaku. Dia pasti telah menertawakannya dalam. Dia pasti merasa sesuatu yang dekat dengan Seseorang seindah yang sudah tahu dia cantik penghinaan.. Dia tidak membutuhkan orang yang benar-benar biasa tolol seperti dirinya untuk terus dan terus tentang hal itu. Pasti seperti let-down untuk dia ketika dia melihat apa yang dia benar-benar tampak seperti. Dia sangat berhati-hati untuk menyembunyikannya juga, untuk melindungi perasaannya. Dia harus menjadi seperti orang yang indah, untuk humor dia seperti itu.
Dia mengambil sepotong kecil kertas yang berisi nomor teleponnya dari sakunya dan menatap itu, memegangnya dadanya untuk saat seperti jimat, menangkup di antara dua tangannya.
Dia akan harus sedikit lebih realistis, katanya pada diri sendiri. Menurunkan pandangannya sedikit. Berhenti bermimpi mimpi yang mustahil.
"Bebek jelek tidak harus pergi mengganggu angsa," ia